i make no excuses about who i am! love me, hate me, just read me!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012


If you are a resident of the Central Valley in California then you know all about the Clovis schools and how they are some of the best in the state. People move there because of the school district, not just for the education but because sports is also a big priority for the district. Apparently what is not a priority for the district is Sex Ed. The district is being sued by The American Academy of Pediatrics, The Gay-Straight Alliance Network, Aubree Smith, and Mica Ghimenti two parents of students. The district promotes abstinence, an "abstinence only" only policy. Which I know as a grandmother to a son of a teen mom, is not really promoting anything but sex itself. I understand what the basis of the suit is after reading about the lack of information and inaccurate information the district provides. It fails to address things like condom use, and STDS, and in some materials compares a woman who is not a virgin to a dirty shoe, and says a man cannot control himself once he is aroused...hmmmmm kinda making it ok like "legitimate rape" I wonder if this is where that dillhole of a senator went to school this is why boys grow up thinking the way they do..anyway back to the suit.
ACLU lawyers say the school fails to meet the state requirement, they are not providing accurate information and are promoting an "abstinence only til marriage policy"ABSTINENCE. Did I say I am a 46 year old GMA? Abstinence is not a word that kids hear when you are talking about sex education. Kids today are growing up at the speed of light moving way to fast. I know of kids as young as twelve that were sexually active, yeah not happy when I heard the "gossip" about that. I really struggled with telling their parents, but chose not to because I did not want to be the one who caused problems, what is sad is that when this news was shared with someone I know it was those kids putting a friend in an uncomfortable situation. Does that friend stay loyal, or run the risk of hurting people even if its the truth? Now in retrospect I should have spoken to the parents. When my own daughter came home and told me she was pregnant at 15, I was hurt and upset, because it was not like we had not discussed sex. She knew full well that she could come to me at any time to get birth control. We were and are very open about sexuality and sex and STDS and birth control. We discuss things like, birth control, unwanted pregnancy, abortion, condom use, where the clitoris is and what it is..what having a sexual relationship means.

This is my issue. I know not all parents can do that, talk to their kids about sex, but why are we leaving it up to the schools to do it and suing them if they don't. Are we going to sue when our teen daughters get pregnant and they go to that school? Sexual education should be first and foremost talked about at home. The Central Valley has maintained high rates of teen pregnancy for almost 25 years. Heck we even have special schools for teen moms. Why is abstinence a bad word? I like it, I wish it would hold true for my daughters. But, what I like and what I get are two different things...obviously not all teens today are going to be abstinent. For the percentage that are, GREAT! They should still be educated about sex. Sex should not be viewed as something that makes someone dirty, or that a guy has the right to force himself on someone because he cannot control himself. Sex is a basic need. Its on Mazlow's hierarchy, it is there because sex is needed to continue the species. Now, the psychological aspects of being sexually active that's another story. I know some adults that are not emotionally equipped to handle sex and its responsibilities!So it goes without saying but I will say it, I don't think teens are,physically, mentally or emotionally capable of handling sexual relationships. Teens today equate love with sex, usually girls. The two as we adults know have nothing to do with one another. Tell that to your 15 year old in the throws of her first relationship. My experience with boys is that they treat girls like objects, really as disposable..sad, at least most of the teen boys I know to be sexually active.
Realistically we can only arm our children with information. What they choose to do with it is an entirely different thing. Is Clovis Unified at fault here? I think in some ways they are, they are living in their own version of reality, Stepford reality.I also feel parents should start early and keep the discussion age appropriate as kids get older. I  hope that parents take this opportunity to open up the dialogue about Sex... The Birds and The Bees, The SEX Talk, That talk whatever you call it. Ask your kids a series of questions and then you decide where to go from there. Here is a great link to Planned Parenthood that you can use to start your discussion. teens can go to this site, it is a UK site but better and aimed at teens than any other USA site I viewed,, I especially like the "Am I Ready For Sex?" Questionnaire.  Parents you should check this site out too.

Whatever happens with this lawsuit I think that it is a great way to start discussion in your home and I hope that you take the opportunity. My child should already know the facts by the time they are 12 and should keep learning. Misinformation among teens is high. Expectations are high. Being a teen is hard enough as it is, why wouldn't you want the best for your child. Talk to your kids today...I know we are on the right path with my grandson. He is four, he just started going to day care-preschool. One day we were discussing bad words and what you can and cannot say in day the dinner table, with my 3 daughters, one of whom is his mother and his mothers Fiance, his "Dad", he proceeded to tell us "Vagina isn't a bad word!" We were quiet for a brief moment that seemed like eons, and we all looked at each other and smiled. I told him "You know what Devyn? "You are right! Vagina is not a bad word" and we continued on with our dinner.These are teachable moments...and Sex Ed is something I believe begins at home.


The political news means nothing to me. You know what means something to me. The government getting us out of our present state of the economy. Why we are sending troops to Afghanistan? How in a year, when I am cut from my medi-cal because according to my state I make to much money LOL, am I going to pay for health insurance that I cannot afford. I care about how and when I will stop worrying about going to the food bank or borrowing 20 dollars to make it through the week to put something on the table. I have yet to see a politician walk the walk. Yes we know they do a lot of talking that's for sure. It is very rare that they actually do the things they say they do. They bribe their voters into believing they will give them the sun, the moon, and the stars, if they vote for them, kind of like when you tell your kids "if you wash dishes I will think about letting you go out on Friday". They appease us, sate us with their claims so that we can move on to the next political hopeful and their scandal. The last time I voted it was the first time I voted. That was for Bill Clinton. We all know how that went. That's when I lost interest in voting.
When Obama was running I didn't care for him one way or the other. He was touted as the first Black President, "African American", (uhhhuhm...clearing my throat) isn't his mother white? So that seems he is the first Biracial President. Really Obama is not Black enough to be black. In ghetto fab real life, he would  be too white to be accepted by his black peers. How do I know? Because I have experienced racial intolerance of my own children, who are part black. Here's the kicker, (say this whispering) its mostly black people (females) who have issues with them. Must be the good hair. It has also been a common experience for a lot of my friends who have mixed race children. My girls father, experienced racial intolerance by the black community he grew up in also. I honestly feel that Obama met Oprah Winfrey's seal of approval and that is how he got elected, she had him on her show when he was a Senator and she supported his bid for presidency. So you know what happens when something gets the seal of approval from the big O goes viral, especially with the demographic of white women who watched her show, add that to the black demographic and you have a shoe in for the presidential race. Maybe you think that's a poopoo thought coming from a narrow minded wannabe blogger. That's ok I am only saying what lots of people think.
Seems to me, too much is made of race and the focus is never on the record of politicians where it should be. I was reading Keli Goff's articles about Paul Ryan. She is "The  Roots" political correspondent a "black" online magazine. That kind of illustrates my point "a black online magazine" I understand that it is demographically aimed at "Black America" but hey I hope its ok that I, good ole American Mexican read it. I mean I am in that minority that Ryan does not seem to care about as Goff states. I am that dirty word that my daughter hates to hear when I say it, "POOR". On August 13th she writes about "What we know about Paul Ryan and Blacks" discusses how Ryan feels about Obama, how he celebrates MLK day, his civil rights record, and how he feels about the poor. She comes to the conclusion in my opinion that he is not really "for" the Black American. Then yesterday she writes about the fact that he dated a black woman in college, this is a snippet and the focus of her column and I,  "So here is the million-dollar question: Is the fact that Ryan has dated interracially a noteworthy detail to consider when analyzing his politics and policies?" Read more at this link She goes onto say that to really know a person and the way they will deal with a certain community of people is to look at their past record. I agree.  Look when you want a good job done, say, you  want to go to a plumber, you are going to ask people maybe do some research and then hire the right guy for the job, after all its your hard earned money you will pay him. So leaving our future in the hands of someone based on who they dated or didn't, and what color they are, really who cares? I don't agree with  people of any color puling the race card to make a point, usually about how "the man has screwed them" and I still don't know WHO that man is? We should all judge people based on their ability to be human. I know, I know a pipe dream and I am living in lalaland but hey thats how I honestly feel. As a dear friend of mine posted on facebook today "When people don't get what they want they pull the race card" she is so right. Look, Racism with a capital R is alive and well and so is prejudice and I have been and am somewhat still guilty of it, I have issues with people of any color who do stupid shit...its old people, that race card, get onto the people card. Maybe its you, your behavior, your values, your morals, your actions, maybe its the way you spoke, or carried yourself, maybe its not everyone else.
Back to the Political Race. Do I care if Paul Ryan dated a black woman, do I care that Obama is half black? NO I don't, I don't vote, but that does not mean I don't get tired of the political campaigns that are fueled with hate and mudslinging. Maybe if I did hear about the real issues, the things I have to worry about on a day to day basis and how YOU, Joe A. REPUBLICAN, or Joan A. DEMOCRAT, are going to insure the greatness of this country how you are going to help me, POOR AS FUCK MOMMA. Maybe just maybe then I would vote.

Friday, August 17, 2012


Imagine you are sitting in church on Sunday and 3 masked young women run in to the service in brightly colored mini skirts and ski masks and scream "FUCK PRESIDENT OBAMA AND ALL THAT HE STANDS FOR!" and shout other political statements and dance wildly at the churches altar. How would you react? First as human being, I know I would be, "WTF just happened and do they have guns?" Then I would think "How dare they come into my place of worship and disrupt my service and traumatize people who are worshiping." Then as a Christian I would forgive them. As a citizen of the USA I would say, " Freedom of Speech is something I strongly believe in and support."
I am often criticized for what I say out loud, and often times what I post on Facebook, and sometimes in my blogs. I have been accused of not thinking before I speak, and while it may seem that way, actually I am very calculated in the way that I phrase things. When I make a verbal or written FAIL I do correct myself, UNLESS I totally stand by what I say.
There Is a little quotable quote by Bernard Mezlar that people like to post on Facebook especially if they have been pissed off by, well, Me.

"Before you speak ask yourself if what you are going to say is true, is kind, is necessary, is helpful. If the answer is no, maybe what you are about to say should be left unsaid."

While that's all nice and good...that is not how I feel..most of the time I feel like this, sometimes people have to say things even if and especially when its not the popular view of others or if it may offend a group of people or hurt feelings especially if it is based in TRUTH...
"Pretty words are not always true.........and  True words are not always pretty" That is more my creed.That applies to words spoken to me too. I know I am not always right and I will apologize if I think something is worth salvaging. For me words are a way to express myself like an artist with paint or a musician when they play an instrument. 
While I have never been part of a protest I have vocalized my belief  and done so loudly many times.

The question in the case of Pussy Riot is, is this a political ploy by Putin to grow support for his reelection? Will keeping these young protesters in prison for up to 3 years make a difference in the scheme of things? It has actually caused a backlash against Putin around the world. These young punk rockers have grown global support. Yet their fellow musicians in Russia don't regard them as anything but young protesters and do not support them. Of course not why would they? They play for the Kremlin and other politicians, keeping status quo is important to people who are being supported by the government.

I can't totally agree with the methods of Pussy Riot storming into a sacred place, but I agree that they have the right to speak out against the government they feel oppresses them and millions of other people. 
What would happen in the USA if that happened?
Back to my first question. I mean churches are allowed to protest at military funerals, and people are allowed to protest in front of churches and religious people are allowed to protest at Planned Parenthood and Chick Fil-A. I know that in this instance, storming into a church,  the protesters would be thrown in jail...but would it be considered a Hate crime here? Would the protesters get 3 years? Shoot some child molesters don't get that.
For me at the crux of this case is that I believe in and support FREEDOM OF SPEECH, people have died for that right of mine and yours. Imagine living in a culture that sensors you. Value the power of your words, even if they are words others may disagree with.
Some members of Pussy Riot want people to empower themselves and support the imprisoned members by donning ski masks in bright colors and vocalizing how they feel...Maybe you don't want to go to that extreme maybe you are a more genteel protester whatever format you choose, regard your freedoms highly because the cost of those freedoms are paid for in blood.

Sunday, August 5, 2012


I have not seen one moment of the 2012 Olympics. I have heard a lot about Gabby Douglas, a gulp, "African American" and her hair, and the fact that her Mother filed bankruptcy earlier this year. I don't even know how many medals shes won. Gymnastics is one of my favorite sports to watch. I remember wanting to follow after Nadia Comaneci and her perfect 10's. I walked faithfully to practice at the high school which was about 3 miles from my house but I went anyway. My parents let me go, but they did not have money for me to pursue anything seriously. For them it was a way for me to be busy while they both worked. For me it was a dream to be able to stand on the balance beam or swing on the parallel bars. I was actually the first one in class to do the splits...alongside other girls who had taken years of dance already. My dreams ended when the class did. I still followed competitions when they were on and like lots of other little girls who are watching Gabby Douglas today I was content to be the spectator.
I go to my homepage and see that the media is more focused on how Douglas wears her hair. She wears it like lots of other gymnasts, in a ponytail, quite sensible I would say. Would they care how she wore her hair if she wasn't African American. How do they think all the other American (Caucasian) and European and Asian gymnast wear their hair? Is she supposed to wear cornrows or quadruple braids? Hairstyles worn by some "African American" little girls? I don't get it...can we focus on her Olympian feats instead of her hair?
 Douglas was not the medias "Darling" coming into these Olympic games, Jordyn Weiber was the medias pick. The odds on favorite, Weiber who was touted as the next Marylou, the next Nadia, was out of contention. Guess how she wears her hair? Yep in that sensible ponytail. In a twist here is a photo of Weiber in cornrows..

"African American"? I don't care if shes Mexican American, Italian American or German American...Douglas is American. I get offended when people say aren't you Mexican...ugh no I was born here. I consider myself American. Who cares? Its obvious I am of Mexican descent. Nationality, ethnicity, race, color whatever you want to call it. These athletes are competing for America, Team USA. Lets applaud their hard work and  merits.

Then there is the news that Olympian Ryan Lochte's parents are facing foreclosure and that Douglas' Mother had filed bankruptcy earlier this year. Douglas' Mother, Natalie Hawkins a single mother of four filed bankruptcy. So what. So did I, oh but that's right I am not the mother of an Olympian, (not yet anyway). I know I personally make a lot of sacrifices for my children, especially my football/baseball playing daughter. Hawkins had to get her daughter the best coach she could and that meant sending her 3,000 miles away from home to fulfill her dreams. Dreams and hard work that obviously paid off. How many people in the United States have not filed bankruptcy this year? It doesn't make any difference to me. This only solidifies my belief that some athletes are cut from a different cloth, and that those who pursue the greatness they are destined for achieve a lot of the success that they do because their parents and others, coaches, and in Douglas' case host families make a lot of sacrifices. Sacrifice is the word that comes to mind when I hear about the parents of these wonderful athletes. It is not easy to let your child move away to train, or to find the money to do it. No one is investing in these athletes future, no one but their parents, families, coaches and them. That the hard work pays off is the cherry on top. After all the Olympic gold medal is only monetarily worth 644 dollars, but in terms of endorsements and future earnings well its value is something these athletes aren't even thinking about when they are training or competing. I think whatever Douglas does she has a bright future ahead of her regardless of her hair or the fact that her Mom filed bankruptcy. I for one am glad to see all little girls realize that they have a heroine they can identify with, child of a single mom, with good sensible values, and a dream that she has just realized.